Your Moment of TrekZen* – Classic Thanksgiving Edition!

We shall all sing songs of the Great Turkey Leg, on our way to the Stove O’ Kor.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Here’s hoping you enjoy a restful holiday in the company of family and friends. For those unable to do so – servicemembers, first responders, doctors and nurses, and lots of other fine people answering a higher calling or simply having to work a job that precludes them from taking the day off – we thank you for your service and commitments and wish you a safe return home. And let’s not forget those who for whatever reason might be alone today, or who might need a helping hand.

(* = inspired by the “Your Moment of Zen” segments from The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*.

Courtesy of friend Aaron Harvey, we have this bit of 1970s Star Trek merchandising goodness.

I have to admit – and this is something I get to say with decreasing frequency as the years go by – but I’d never even heard of this particular item let alone seen one before yesterday. It’s totally insane and yet has everything I love about that early era of Star Trek merch.

First, there’s the obvious “label slapping,” whereby the toy manufacturer just adds the name of a popular TV show, movie, comic book, or whatever onto something that evokes the tagged property in no meaningful way whatsoever. But then there’s the groovy box art that really makes this worthwhile. I admit I like it way more than the actual “Phaser Rocket Gun.” I’d actually rather collect just the box over the toy itself.

This gem was produced in the UK and likely never made it over here to the States in any signficant numbers, making it a definite rarity and item of curiosity for many a hardcore Star Trek collector. There was one other toy from “Lone Star” that I did know about: their “Inter-Space Communicator” which as you can plainly see bears absolutely no resemblance to anything you might’ve seen Kirk or Spock talking into on the original series.

“Can you hear me now?”

I didn’t do a particularly deep dive on this, and so only found these two examples of Star Trek merch from Lone Star, which I’ve decided had to be the British successor to our very own and very much beloved Remco from the late 1960s while the original show was still in production. You know what I’m talking about…..

For anyone interested along with any of you who keep insisting I’m hard to shop for, as I write this there’s currently an eBay auction for the “Phaser Rocket Gun,” with an opening bid of $350. So, so you know….bid early and often!

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*.

Misadventures In Merchandizing, episode #3,962,175:

What’s wrong with this picture, amirite?

The above panel is from Passage to Moauv, a Star Trek tale written in 1975 for Power Records, which at the time was producing stories tying into various comic book characters and other entertainment properties. The stories were originally developed for vinyl records (latter cassette tapes) and this was one of three such tales originally issued on a larger 33-rpm LP record. The story itself has the disinction of being written by notable science fiction author and all-around media tie-in king Alan Dean Foster, who also wrote the accompanying stories, In Vito Veritas and The Crier In Emptiness.

Front and back covers for the original 12″ LP record sleeve.

Later in 1975, the story was re-issued on its own smaller 45-rpm record, this time accompanied by a comic-like adaptation of the script drawn by artist Russ Heath and inked/colored by Dick Giordano & Neal Adams (yes, you read those names right. THAT Dick Giordano and THAT Neal Adams), along with a cover by Adams. Of course, it’s with the comics companion that they got themselves intro trouble. I mean…..

Anyway…….

1970s Star Trek merch. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it.

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*.

Because summer’s coming, and who wouldn’t want to lick a grape-flavored Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, or Dr. McCoy on a hot day?

Everything you need to make 20 Freezicles!

6 reusable molds (makes hundreds!)
Mixing and measuring cup
Heinz fruit concentrate (Grape)
20 Freezicle sticks
—

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*, Christmas Edition!

Yes, these were actual Star Trek Christmas cards, sold by our friends at Hallmark Cards during those thrilling days of Yesteryear**. I have been both the giver and recipient of these.

For those who celebrate it, Merry Christmas to you from Clan Ward.

(* = inspired by the “Your Moment of Zen” segments from The Daily Show)
(** = See what I did, there?)

Your Moment of TrekZen*.

Pew pew pew.

Raise your hand if you pumped quarters into Space Invaders arcade games back in the day.

Raise your hand if — decades later — you’ve swiped your Dave & Buster’s card to play their monster Space Invaders arcade.

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*

Back in a time before Star Trek was the global, multimedia entertainment juggernaut it is today, merchandise was….funky.I’ve seen cards from this set here and there over the years. Getting your stinking paws on a complete set seems to be like finding the Holy Grail or a copy of The Thing: Infection At Outpost 31 which won’t cost you a kidney. Produced in 1969 by a company called A&BC out of England, this was the first set of all-color Star Trek trading cards, predating the more commonly known set from Topps by seven years.

The 55-card set features images from a single episode of the original Star Trek series, “What Are Little Girls Made Of?” Given the guest character for this story was Roger Corby,” this likely explains the erroneous listing Captain Kirk’s first name as “Roger.” Somebody had Roger on the brain, yo. As choice of episodes go, this isn’t the worst candidate, but something like “Arena” or “The Doomsday Machine” or “Balance of Terror” might’ve been cooler, amirite? Then again, none of those episodes have Sherry Jackson sporting one of William Ware Theiss’s more memorable costume designs.

The choice of photos from the episode aren’t too bad, all things considered, even if some of the text has some unfortunate errors. Spock is a Martian, according to his card, for example. In addition to relaying text about the image on the front, several of the cards also have “space facts,” like the distance between the Earth and the Moon. Many of these infonuggets are outdated in a charming, whimsical 1950s science fiction way. Ah, such innocent times. All in all, the card set is pretty average, even if the captions lack much of the flare of the earlier Leaf card set, but what are you gonna do?

I doubt this set will ever be reprinted, but I’ve learned to never say never when it comes to pop culture merchandising. Until then, you can check out more info about these cards from this rather helpful website: Wixiban.com – Star Trek Trading Cards.

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*, special Easter edition!

To boldly Peep where no one has Peeped before!

Yeah. That sounded less creepy in my head.

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen*.

Because your off-brand landing party cosplay attempt isn’t complete without a little 2-way comm action.

(Click to Biggie Size…if you dare.)

Ah, Remco. Gone, but not forgotten.

We are, of course, talking about that toy manufacturing king of the 1940s, 50s, and 60s. Particularly in that last decade before it closed its doors in 1971, Remco was (in)famous for toys tying into various popular television shows of that era such as the Adam West Batman, Lost In Space, The Munsters, and Star Trek. Many if not most of their toys bore little or even no resemblance to anything you might see on any of the actual shows, you understand, and often were actually the same toys across the different lines…just painted different colors and featuring show-specific decals. In this case, the Star Trek wrist radios might be yellow, whereas Batman and Robin sported their own semi-cool blue ones.

Among those items bearing the Star Trek label were the Astro-Helmet (with non-shattering lenses!) as well as my personal favorites, the Astro-Buzz-Ray Gun, and…of course, the notorious Space Fun helmet.

I mean, come on….

(I make this shit look good.)

Back in December, StarTrek.com convinced the awesomely good sport Ethan Peck to participate in an “unboxing video” in which he took an original Space Fun helmet out of its box (much to the horror of collectors across the known universe and perhaps other planes of existence) and actually placed it atop his own Spock-portraying head. I am forced to admit Mr. Peck looks far better in his helmet than I do in the one I borrowed from friend Nick Duguid for the above photo.

Much attention and discussion centers around the screen accuracy of any product – toy, replica, or whatever – tying into a film or television series, and that attention and discussion is multiplied times a bazillion when we’re talking about Star Trek. There are those among the fan contingent who want all knowledge of knock-off products such as these purged from all human memory. Then there are anarchists like me, who constantly lobby for some courageous would-be licensing partner to take up the mantle of producing sacrosanct reproductions of these off-kilter toys of yesteryear.

That’s right. Some days, I just want to watch the world burn.

(* = with acknowledgments–and apologies–to The Daily Show)

Your Moment of TrekZen.*

The toys of my youth, when strict onscreen accuracy took a backseat to our imaginations on our way to hella fun.

That’s right, kids: back when I was 9 years old, these were the bomb. No, the “real” U.S.S. Enterprise didn’t shoot fat orange discs out the front of its saucer section, and neither did the Space: 1999 Eagle ever sport green as part of its color scheme. And let’s not even talk about the Enterprise‘s shuttlecraft.

I never managed to get my hands on the Enterprise (or the Klingon cruiser that was also available), but I do have distinct memories of breaking at least one Eagle.

Ah, the good old days.

(* = inspired by the “Your Moment of Zen” segments from The Daily Show)