My Survivor “Dream Team” roster.

Friday on Twitter, I made a joke. I know, I know…contain your surprise.

Anyway, every so often I throw out a fake “Breaking News”-type tweet, with something ridiculous and usually pertaining to some issue or news item of the day. Today’s item: “BREAKING: Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan bound for Redemption Island! #Survivor”

This sparked a conversation with a friend on Twitter, who asked me what my “Dream Team” roster for a special edition of the Survivor reality game show might be. I’d never really given any thought to something like that before, but the more I thought about it the more I decided it might be a fun little exercise. So, I quickly compiled a list of names. Several were added by the fact that I’m *tired* of hearing their names, or I chuckled at the thought of certain individuals facing the trials and challenges of the Survivor environment. Others are there because I’m a fan, and I figure they’d make awesome foils, or at least make me laugh as they comment on the proceedings. I present them here in alphabetical order, and I’m not going to offer a lot of info as to why they’re on the list (gotta leave something for the comments, right?):

My Survivor Dream Team roster…behind the cut!


Survivor: Gabon – Episode 1.

I’m part of a group at work who will be following this season of Survivor. There’s five of us, and we’ve all drawn three names from a hat, and I’ve bet 200 quatloos on each of the newcomers. For those wondering, my three are Marcus, Danny (“GC”), and Crystal. Since Michi already watches the show, anyway, this is a chance for us to unwind together.

Anyway, we’re only halfway through our TiVo’d version of tonight’s premiere episode:

  1. Arrogant know-it-all who takes charge and gets on everybody’s nerves? Check.
  2. Vapid whiny chick who complains about everything? Check.
  3. Supposed studly athlete who chokes at the first display of athleticism? Check.
  4. Bitch who plans to kill ’em all and let God sort ’em out, and laugh all the way? Check.
  5. Younger people standing around complaining about a lack of fire, or food, and expecting the people who seem to know what they’re doing (the older people) to do all the work? Check.
  6. People standing around wearing eye-glasses, trying to figure out how they might start a fire? Check.*

Question for the contestants: Do you Pezheads ever watch past seasons of the show?

* = On the first episode of the first-ever Survivor, the older guy on one tribe used his glasses as a magnifying glass and started a fire. It’s a trick I don’t recall seeing since then.