Ask Dayton #117 on the G and T Show: “T-Rex Mix.”

Well. Here’s something you don’t see every day.

It’s been a since an “Ask Dayton” query was posed to Yours Truly as part of the G and T Show, the Star Trek-themed podcast hosted by friends Terry Lynn Shull, Nick Minecci, and Mike Medeiros. Of course, they’ve been rather busy trying to cover so many different aspects of Star Trek goings-on, silly stuff like this tends to get lost in the shuffle. That’s understandable. After all, when they first posed this idea to me, I was sure it was a gag that might last a month.

Shows what the hell I know.

What was in the question queue this time around?

Dear Dayton,

Why are the videos of the people in the T-Rex costumes so fucking funny?

Signed,
Bang A Gong

Well, if this isn’t a reason to come out of “Ask Dayton” seclusion, nothing is.

“Why are the videos of the people in the T-Rex costumes so fucking funny?”

They’re not.

I mean, apparently there are legions of people whose taints get moist from the very thought of watching someone run around in one of these costumes in a quest to spice up some of the most mundane tasks we humans have invented in a bid to appear like productive members of society. I just don’t happen to number among that particular demographic.

Kids in T-Rex costumes are funny, because kids doing silly things are almost always good for a laugh. It’s hard not to smile or chuckle at a kid who’s wearing a goofy costume and doing something weird, but they’re at least owning that shit like a boss, cackling up a storm because in their minds, this is the funniest fucking thing anyone has ever seen, and they don’t know any better.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m probably going to laugh at little Johnny running around the house screeching like a horny tomcat with a cockring because he just watched Jurassic Park and now he’s thinking he’s going to ambush Dad from the right flank or something.

As for the grown-ups? Sure, the guy shoveling snow got a laugh, because you know….asteroid and nuclear winter and all the dinosaurs dying and shit ends up being kind of meta when you see Dino pushing snow off his driveway. Then there was the dude who danced to a number from the musical A Chorus Line, which is normally the sort of thing you only see after you shove a fistful of Oxycodone into your face. Sure, that was amusing, and others were funny for a while, but as we grown-ups tend to do, we milk this sort of thing for all it’s worth. Then, all that’s left is a motley assortment of annoying college students and hipsters in desperate need of a bat across the mouth and something constructive to do with their apparently copious amounts of free time. If you’re that bored, dudebros, come over and mow my fucking lawn.

Don’t get me wrong, I can probably offer up the occasional smile or laugh at an alleged adult doing this sort of absurdity, but only if they’re running into stuff. You know, patio doors, fences, ditches, traffic, whatever, but hopefully it’s something where they end up smacking their scrotum really hard and painfully. That’s called an object lesson, man-children. Otherwise, most of the people who go for this sort of thing are usually trying to sneak up on other people and scare them, because in their minds, this is the funniest fucking thing anyone has ever seen, and they’re old enough to know better. I’m continuously surprised when such antics aren’t met by a full-blown ass-beating or at least stabbing or slicing at the costume with a switchblade.

Now, that shit would be funny. Everything else? Not so much.

Okay, maybe I do have one exception: There’s a video with a lady at a gym who puts on a T-Rex costume and then does her “ultimate workout.” Just the part where she’s trying to reach down and grab a dumbbell with her little T-Rex arms is enough to earn a chuckle, but her running on the elliptical machine provoked a full-blown laugh.

Oh, all right. The one with the T-Rex guy running the American Ninja Warrior course was pretty funny, but that’s it.


 

This question and its answer was read during G&T Show Episode #240 on June 5th, 2016. You can hear Nick read the answers each week by listening live, or check out the replay/download options when the episode is loaded to their website: The G and T Show. Listeners are also encouraged to send in their own questions, one of which will be sent to me each week for a future episode.

As always, thanks to Nick, Terry and Mike for continuing to include me in all of their fun.

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (the band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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3 Responses to Ask Dayton #117 on the G and T Show: “T-Rex Mix.”

Lay it on me.

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