Jade Helm is over. VICTORY!

That’s right, patriots! After a long, arduous campaign, the forces of tyranny are in retreat. We have successfully defended our homeland from those who would seek to oppress us. Outstanding job, warriors. This will be a day long remembered. Official reports are beginning to filter in from the front lines. For example, we have The Washington Post:

Remember Jade Helm 15, the controversial military exercise? It’s over.

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Though the war may be over, the rebuilding is just beginning. We have much work to do in order to restore our pristine lands to their former glory, erasing the scars and pain of the battles fought here. At last report, requests for federal aid were still being considered.

jadehelm10

Meanwhile, savor your victory, and hey! Check it out: Overstock sales on ammo and beef jerky. Everybody wins!

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (the band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
This entry was posted in jokes, politics, stupid news, stupid people, stupid shit. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Jade Helm is over. VICTORY!

  1. BrainRants says:

    Those of us still on the inside of the military just scratched our heads at this uproar. Nobody in the Army would support such a takeover because we’d have to make a lot of slides, and fuck that.

    Liked by 2 people

Lay it on me.

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