Alien Next Door and Warped: Funny books coming our way.

So, I received an e-Mail from Amazon this morning, informing me about the updated status of a couple of books I’d pre-ordered. To be honest, I’d forgotten I’d ordered them, let alone both together, but for reasons known only to the voices in my head, I found that little bit of trivia amusing. Here’s hoping the funny carries through to the actual books once they get here.

What are we talking about? Well, first up we have this little slice of madness:


Alien Next Door, by Joey Spiotto

From the marketing copy:

See a new, caring side to the legendary science fiction monster as he tends to Jonesy the cat, endeavours to keep his house cleaner than the Nostromo, and searches for his place on a cold, new, alien world: Earth. From facehuggers to feather dusters, discover how the perfect killing machine relaxes after a day of scaring space marines.

I’m sorry, but if you know anything about me, you know this was an instant purchase. I mean, come on.

Books like this crack me the hell up. Recent examples in this vein include Jeffrey Brown‘s line of adorable Star Wars-themed books that began with Darth Vader and Son, which at the time of its release I proclaimed “the greatest Star Wars book ever.” I stand by that, by the way. Another off-kilter favorite is Josh Cooley‘s Movies R Fun, which takes scenes from classic films and presents them as though written for a children’s book.

Yep, I’m definitely not right in the head for liking that one, but it sits so perfectly on the bookshelf next to something like Go the F**k to Sleep, amirite?

Anyway, the second book in my order is this guy:

warped-coverStar Trek: The Next Generation – Warped: An Engaging Guide to the Never-Aired 8th Season, by Mike McMahan

From the cover copy:

In the basement of the Star Trek archives, behind shelves of U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-D models, bags of wigs, and bins of plastic phasers, sits a dusty cardboard box. Inside is a pile of VHS tapes that contain never-before-seen episodes and behind-the-scenes footage for something truly amazing. The world thinks there are only seven seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, but there’s one more. A secret season.

Actually, not really. But that didn’t stop Mike McMahan, creator of the parody Twitter account @TNG_S8, from making a guide full of:

(* Again, not really, of course. This is humor. Sorry.)

So impress your friends and bewilder your enemies with your newfound knowledge of these very lost Star Trek episodes! Engage!”

Of the two books, I suppose I should be at least a little jealous of this one. I mean, it’s based off a Twitter feed, much like Shit My Dad Says, which would seem to indicate that I’m going about this writing thing all wrong, and that I need to concentrate more on being a Twitter smartass. Of course, SMDS went into apparent hibernation after the book deal and short-lived TV series, and I wish Mike McMahan better luck, because his Twitter feed is damned funny.

(To be honest, my main regret about either book is that I didn’t think of this shit first. Grr. Argh.)

Besides, I’m happy to see Star Trek getting in on this kind of action. Embracing this sort of whimsy is that’s long overdue, in my ever-humble opinion. There have been a couple of other tentative steps into this realm, with last year’s Fun with Kirk & Spock and even A Very Klingon Khristmas from 2013. Still, I think we need more of this, because why the hell not, right? I mean this gem has been the gold standard for decades so far as Trek funny books, which just happens to be one of my all-time favorites:


Also? For my money, it’s the only Star Trek canon book out there. That’s right, I said it.

Anyway, that’s the sort of stuff that will be clogging my mailbox in the coming weeks, which should go a long way toward explaining why I’m so screwed in the head. For those of you looking for fun holiday gift ideas? BOOM. You’re welcome.

Lay it on me.

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