Jade Helm sitrep: D-Day.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you likely know that today, July 15th, was the first day of the “controversial” military training exercise Jade Helm 15. Now, depending on whom you ask, this is either the latest in a long string of such exercises that the military has performed over years and years, or a plot by the Obama Administration to launch a federal takeover of certain “enemy states,” such as Texas.

For those of you who lack a basic understanding of United States history and politics, Texas has been a member of our union since well before Obama became president, and for more than a century before he was even born, but let’s not let facts and logic start to pull at the threads of this particular tapestry, all right?

Anyway, if you’ve clicked on the handy link I provided up above, you’re now familiar with what Jade Helm is supposed to be (or what its disinformation campaign wants you to think it’s supposed to be, etc.). Today was the first day of fun for the folks in uniform participating in the exercise, and of course attention from all over was focused on it to see if Obama’s nefarious plot would unfold before our very eyes.

Working from my bunker well away from the front lines of the supposed conflict, I was able to glean snippets of news and other unconfirmed reports at different points during the day. For example, one source was able to provide this photographic evidence of the invasion just as it supposedly was getting underway:

First reports begin filtering in from the front lines in Texas. #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/sJlUJrlN9G

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

From there, reports of encounters with individuals and small groups of invaders began filtering through the cordon which allegedly had been erected around the entire theater of operations:

On the ground in Texas. Shit's getting real, now. #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/Uyc1aCStAR

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

Naturally, reports of resistance and other acts of civil disobedience were being reported:

They won't go quietly. #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/L0VQhA5Qge

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

While some residents appeared ready to defend their homes to the death, others were hoping to avoid direct confrontation:

Some locals are trying to keep things civil. #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/7E2QtMWFOt

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

Soon, and perhaps inevitably, the situation began to spiral out of control:

Not looking good in Texas. Can anyone confirm this? #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/7QedSTOeQ3

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

Of course, you can only push someone so far before they start to push back, amirite?

Uh-oh. The home team has a ringer! #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/zS21JQl9T4

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

Naturally, there were those who saw the escalating conflict raging around them, and decided this might well present other, unexpected opportunities:

But, any chance the Evil Government and their stormtroopers might’ve had for an easy conquest began to unravel here on this first day, when valuable information was obtained by the burgeoning resistance movement:

Somebody found the battle plan. It's on, now. #JadeHelm15 pic.twitter.com/e2Qtg7CrDO

— Dayton Ward (@daytonward) July 15, 2015

As of now, I’m not sure whether my network of informants will be able to keep providing me with the reliable updates and other intel from behind enemy lines. Whatever I get, I’ll be sure to pass on to my fellow patriots. Stand tall, brothers and sisters of liberty, and whatever you do, don’t trust anything you might hear from “official outlets.” You know how that can go…….

(Yes, I had way more fun with this today than some folks might consider normal, or healthy.)

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