“The Quotable Captain Pike”

At long last, I can reveal some juicy details about the next project Kevin and I have lined up. This one’s been a long time coming, and we’re very jazzed to finally be able to share info with our readers.

While not a novel, our new venture still allows us to play around in our favorite sandbox while at the same time expanding our writing into a somewhat different arena. This is definitely a first for both of us, and carries with it the potential to rank right up there with some of our very favorite writing endeavors over the years. It’s definitely going to be fun, that’s for sure.

Okay, enough babbling. Here’s a preview:

In the annals of Starfleet history, there are few officers of great accomplishment and stature who succeed in remaining soft-spoken and unassuming in the face of such distinction. Fewer still are those who can offer sage counsel to the future generations that would follow in their footsteps and expand ever outward the quest for knowledge and achievement. If there is one person who presents the epitome of such humility and insight, it is none other than the legendary Fleet Captain Christopher Pike.


From his rise through the ranks of Starfleet to his storied tour of duty as captain of the fabled U.S.S. Enterprise and beyond, Captain Pike and his career have been studied and admired for decades. For the first time, his heretofore untapped outlook and wisdom are laid bare, in the concise, forthright manner only he can convey. Collected in this volume and accompanied by audio transcripts from dozens of rare interviews, are the captain’s unique reflections in response to numerous topics of universal interest, including:

On love: “Beep.”

On war: “Beep. Beep.”

On politics: “Beep. Beep.”

On tribbles: “Beep. Beep.”

On glommers: “Beep.”

On Betazoid weddings: “Beep.”

On Hutt weddings: “Beep. Beep.”

On whether Firefly should have been cancelled: “Beep. Beep.”

On the idea of Jello wrestling becoming an Olympic sport: “Beep.”

On whether climate change is an observable phenomenon: “Beep.”

On the existence of Bigfoot: “Beep. Beep.”

On UFOs: “Beep.”

On astral projection: “Beep. Beep.”

On mental telepathy: “Beep.”

On ESP: “Beep.”

On clairvoyance: “Beep. Beep.”

On spirit photography: “Beep. Beep.”

On telekinetic movement: “Beep.”

On full trans-mediums: “Beep. Beep.”

On the Loch Ness Monster: “Beep. Beep.”

On the theory of Atlantis: “Beep.”

On a steady paycheck: “Beep.”

On Martin Scorsese: “Beep.”

On Michael Bay: “Beep. Beep.”

On the need for Uwe Boll to forever be barred from making movies: “Beep.”

On whether living beings have a soul: “Beep.”

On the hanging curve ball: “Beep.”

On high fiber: “Beep.”

On good scotch: “Beep.”

On the novels of Susan Sontag: “Beep. Beep.”

On whether Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone: “Beep.”

On Astroturf: “Beep. Beep.”

On the Designated Hitter Rule: “Beep. Beep.”

On the sweet spot: “Beep.”

On soft-core pornography: “Beep.”

On opening presents on Christmas Eve: “Beep. Beep.”

On opening presents on Christmas morning: “Beep.”

On long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days: “Beep.”

On delta rays: “Beep. Beep.”

On Talosians: “Beep. Beep.”

On Number One: “Beep.”

On Yeoman Colt: “Beep.”

On Vina: “Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.”

pike-chair-dashFeaturing over 10,000 monosyllabic and disyllabic opinions, musings, and other anecdotes as well as annotations and other commentary by Kevin and myself, Star Trek: The Quotable Captain Pike – The Wisdom and Perspective of A Starfleet Legend will be similar in design to How to Speak Klingon, with illustrations provided by artist Erin Ward to accompany the text. An embedded sound chip will provide audio responses when one or the two buttons are pushed (One beep for “Yes,” or two beeps for “No”), and the interactive control pad will resemble the controls on Captain Pike’s wheelchair.

Pre-order information and final cover art is forthcoming. Star Trek: The Quotable Captain Pike – The Wisdom and Perspective of A Starfleet Legend is scheduled to be released in the fall just in time for holiday shopping, so be sure to buy a copy for each Trekkie on your list!

(Or, this could all just be the result of a vodka-induced hallucination.)

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