Ask Dayton #108 on the G and T Show: “Giving Thanks for Sweat Pants”

Hey. Been a while since we did one of these, huh?

Even on Sundays that fall on holiday weekends, the G and T Show soldiers on. That’s right, Nick Minecci, Terry Lynn Shull, and Mike Medeiros discussing all the latest happenings in and around the “Star Trek Universe.” After they cover the important things like updates on the latest film, news on new products and the latest developments in games like Star Trek Online, they waste a few precious moments with that little slice of banality that is the semi-regular “Ask Dayton” query.

So, what was in the queue this time around?

Dear Dayton,

So what is Thanksgiving like at La Casa de Ward? Are you even allowed within twenty feet of the kitchen? Do you watch the parade? What’s the most awkward Thanksgiving memory you have?

Thanks man.

As Nick reads this, it’s the Sunday after Thanksgiving, by which time most people who partook of the holiday festivities have begun their fourth day wearing the same sweat pants they donned prior to Thursday’s feast. This is because those grungy things and the equally stained and threadbare shirt worn with them are either the only damned things that still fit, or else the wearer has eschewed such things as basic hygiene for the duration of the extended holiday weekend.

We pause here for anyone who still has at least one post-gluttony belch they’ve been banking for a special occasion.

Everybody good? All righty, then. Moving on.

The biggest difference between this Thanksgiving and the past several years was that it was the first to be observed at Ward Manor 2.0. We naturally took advantage of our larger kitchen and dining areas, and invited my wife’s mother along with a couple of our dear friends to participate in our annual stuffing of the faces. Though my wife and kids had one of the parades on the TV while they were going about the meal preparations, I managed to push some words toward the current writing project before our guests arrived, taking advantage of the lull to put on a favored pair of those aforementioned sweat pants. Once suitably attired and upon the arrival of our guests, the final preparations for the annual devouring of the sacrificial poultry commenced.

While I’m by no means a slouch when it comes to cooking, my wife took point so far as preparing this particular meal. Once our guests arrived and everything was ready to go, she was the first to sample the turkey and declare it tasty and fit for human consumption. This is to say that she grabbed one of the guest of honor’s plump, succulent legs and proceeded to de-meat it like a lion gorging on a fresh kill.

In addition to the meal, there also was traditional entertainment, which means being remote spectators to a scheduled tournament of gladiatorial combat. A pride of vicious lions from Detroit was pitted against a sleuth of bears imported from the faraway, exotic land of Chicago. It was a spirited fight and did well to placate the bloodlust of the masses, at least until dinner had settled and it was time to dive into the dessert course.

That’s right, we capped off our meal with pie. Pumpkin, for those keeping score at home, along with a chocolate cream job and some other thing I didn’t even bother sampling because I stopped caring about the available options once I heard, “Chocolate,” okay? We opted to forgo the second round of games and instead selected a movie from my vast library, all while struggling to avoid succumbing to our individual food comas. Once the gathering was concluded, everyone had gone home, and the evidence of our carnage was swept away, my sweat pants and I opted to end the day by celebrating another milestone by spinning up “The Cage,” as the date also marked the fiftieth anniversary of the original Star Trek pilot’s first day of filming in 1964.

Because I’m Trek geek, that’s why. Hello? Have we met?

And yeah…I had a turkey sandwich while watching Captain Pike go all rogue on the Talosians. I probably had another piece of pie, too. Don’t judge me. Shut up. You’re not my mom.

As for awkward moments at Thanksgiving, I can’t really think of anything like that ever occurring. I mean, I certainly have never done anything as moronic as the guy who sent a picture of his dick to his girlfriend’s sister. Yeah, that happened. What sucks is that nobody can ever do that sort of thing again without being accused of copying this asshole. He fucked it up for everybody.

That’s okay, though. I’ve got something better planned for Christmas, and no…sweat pants will not be involved.


This question and its answer was read during G&T Show Episode #168 on November 30th, 2014. You can hear Nick read the answers each week by listening live, or check out the replay/download options when the episode is loaded to their website: The G and T Show. Listeners are also encouraged to send in their own questions, one of which will be sent to me each week for a future episode.

And as always, many thanks to Nick, Terry and Mike for including me in their games.

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (the band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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