Check it out, yo! It’s Halloween! Again!
In years past, I’ve posted a new story that I hope is at least somewhat suitable for the evening. Due to other stuff going on, I wasn’t able to write something for last year, but I think I’m kind of back in the saddle this time around.
Be advised that the story contains strong language.
And with the preliminaries out of the way…….
[Female Caller]: You awake?
[Male Caller]: I am now.
[FC]: Look out your window.
[MC]: Why? Are you naked?
[FC]: Just look out your fucking window, all right?
[MC]: Okay, okay! Hang on a second.
[FC]: Don’t turn on your lights.
[FC]: Just don’t turn on your fucking lights! Do you see them?
[MC]: What? (pause) I don’t see anything.
[FC]: Down by the streetlight on the corner. They’re standing just outside the light, in the Hoffman’s yard.
[MC]: Okay, I see them now. (pause) So what? They’re probably just kids out late.
[FC]: There hasn’t been a trick-or-treater wandering around outside for hours. Besides, look at these idiots. They’re just standing there like they’re waiting for a bus, or something.
[MC]: Maybe they’re stoned? Maybe we should ask them where they get their shit. Why do we care?
[FC]: I got up to go to the bathroom and happened to see them out my window. I’ve been watching them for a couple of minutes before I called you, and they haven’t moved this whole time.
[MC]: Okay, I can admit that’s kind of fucking creepy. Hang on.
[FC]: What are you doing?
[MC]: Grabbing my binoculars. The zoom on my phone doesn’t work for shit. (pause) All right. How many do you see?
[FC]: Four, I think. No, there’s five. Wait. Six.
[MC]: All right, I’ve got my binoc… (pause) Holy shit.
[FC]: What? What do you see?
[MC]: Six dicks in costumes. They look like a cult or a pack of Boy Scouts or something. They’re all wearing jumpsuits or (pause) No, hang on. They’re wearing those suits like you see in hospitals. You know, when they’re dealing with something contagious, or whatever.
[FC]: You mean hazmat suits?
[MC]: Yeah, those. That’s what these look like. (pause) They’ve got some kind of masks. I don’t remember seeing anybody dressed like these guys when we were handing out candy.
[FC]: Me. either. Besides, they look a little big for trick or treating, don’t you think?
[MC]: Maybe. If I thought I could score some Snickers, I might still be out there. Doesn’t explain these dorks, though.
[FC]: Wait, something’s happening.
[MC]: (pause) Shit. It’s old man Hoffman, and he’s got his fucking shotgun. He looks pissed.
[FC]: We should call the cops before this gets stupid.
[MC]: He’s yelling something at them. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but they…. (pause) Holy fuck!
[MC]: Jesus, did you see that? That light! What the hell was… (pause) Oh, God. Oh god damn….
[FC]: What was that? What did….where’s Hoffman? Where’d he….
[MC]: He’s gone! That one guy pointed something at him! Like a laser or something. What the fuck?
[FC]: Shit! Shit! (unintelligible words)
[MC]: Get away from your window!
[FC]: I think they saw me!
[MC]: Get away from your fucking window! Hang on! I’m calling the cops!
[FC]: They’re coming this way! They saw me! (screams)
[MC]: Wait. Fuck! Those aren’t suits…what the hell are they….oh shit!
[FC]: What are they? (unintelligible words) What the fuck are they?
[MC]: Are your doors locked? Where’s your dad’s gun? (unintelligible words) Are you there?
[FC]: (unintelligible words)
[MC]: They’re inside! Get out of there! Get the fuck out of there!
[FC]: They’re coming up the stairs!
[MC]: Hang on, I’m… (pause). Shit. Someone’s inside my house!
(sounds of running)
[MC]: They’re inside! Get out of my fucking house! (sounds of heavy breathing)
[FC]: Help! Please help me! (unintelligible words)
[MC]: Help! I…
Upon determining the callers’ location at the time of this conversation and after verifying that they both were in their domiciles, Level Four isolation protocols were enacted and the area was designated “Checkpoint Alpha.” A containment zone was established in a two-mile radius from that point. Reconnaissance teams were sent into that zone to conduct house-to-house searches. As expected, no persons, living or dead, were found in any residence or building within five hundred meters of Checkpoint Alpha.
See attached extracts from reports detailing similar incidents in four other communities, dating back eighteen months. In each instance, the targeted area is an isolated, rural location with a small population, but the areas share no other known commonalities. Eyewitness accounts from two of these occasions offer details about the unidentified beings that match descriptions provided in the attached transcript.
Analysis teams emphasize that the information offered by these accounts is unreliable and without corroboration, and that without more detailed accounts or other supporting evidence, they are unable to determine with any certainty that the same beings were involved in each of these incidents. However, descriptions of handheld weaponry employed by unidentified beings are consistent with previous encounters. Calculations by analysis and activity prediction staff indicate a strong likelihood of further infiltrations into the target area.
Additionally, these incidents, as previously discussed, share numerous similarities to suspected infiltrations conducted in 1938 (File #E-11), 1953 (File #E-127), 1996 (File #E-599), and 2005 (File #E-1248). Records of those incidents are being retrieved from protected archives and will be available for review by this audience ASAP. Access to and dissemination of this information shall be in accordance with all established security directives pertaining to the distribution of sensitive data.
As with the prior incidents, containment protocols emphasize the need for rapid disinformation distribution to all media platforms, and this effort is already underway. At present, media outlets are being told that hydraulic fracturing at a natural gas wellhead has resulted in an uncontrolled release of methane and forced an evacuation of the community, with residents being relocated to a nearby Army base. Also being reported is the presence of emergency response teams already on site and attempting to bring the methane leak under control.
Analysis of previous infiltration patterns indicate this may be a precursor to a larger yet still limited action consistent with that seen during Case #E-11.
Current data supports no actionable conclusions at this time. Recommend renewed interrogations of Specimen X4, captured during the events of Case #E-1248 and currently being held at Site Bravo.
Given the anticipated level of resistance to disinformation and containment efforts, we recommend activation of Level Six isolation protocols against those media representatives listed on Attachment C.
Lastly, we further recommend that Executive Branch consider placing failsafe containment protocols on standby, in the event further actions are consistent with Case #E-11. If such action should prove warranted, rapid implementation of failsafe protocols will be critical to successful containment. The activation of these preparatory procedures will allow appropriate pre-positioning of military and first response assets in the hopes of mitigating collateral damage and civilian casualties.
Looks like we’re in some deep shit, people. Again.
Copyright © 2014 by Dayton Ward. All Rights Reserved.
If you’re interested in my Halloween stories from previous years, please click here.