So, you know…Sunday. Again. Didn’t we just do this like a week ago, or something?
Sunday, of course, brings with it yet another lemony-fresh episode of the Sunday G and T Show, with Nick Minecci, Terry Lynn Shull and Mike Medeiros talking about various topics pertaining in one way or another to that Star Trek thing.
I suspect at least some of the show was devoted to last week’s “hottest” new bit of info regarding the next Star Trek film, in that writer Alex Kurtzman seems no longer to be connected to the project, and in his and the already-departed Damon Lindelof’s stead are two new scribes who will work with returning vet Roberto Orci to craft the new movie’s story. A director for the feature has not yet been named, but I expect fandom will react to any such news in its usual thoughtful, introspective fashion.
Interestingly, the news and fan reaction to it ties rather nicely into this week’s “Ask Dayton” feature. Consider yourselves warned.
Often in Star Trek, we have heated discussions of the Prime Directive and the argument of sentience. What is your favorite heated Trek argument and what side do align with?
I hate to break this to you, but I don’t do “heated Trek arguments.”
Number one, I don’t do “heated arguments” in general, either on the internet or face to face.
These days, fandom seems to spend an inordinate amount of time bitching and whining about every conceivable detail—no matter how minor or petty—regarding their favorite TV show, film, game, comic book, or whatever, and I just can’t bring myself to dive into the deep end of any of that shit.
As I write this, the current fan-rage topic of the moment is the recently announced casting of actress Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman in the forthcoming sequel to this past summer’s Man of Steel. Gadot is a strikingly attractive woman, and never mind that Tinsel Town is awash with legions of personal trainers who will leap at the chance to help her prepare for the role, or even that she’s yet to utter a single line of dialogue or spend the merest fraction of a second wearing a Wonder Woman costume. Because she had the temerity to burst from her mother’s womb while pointedly lacking the physique of an Amazon goddess, 40-something fanboys the world over are frothing at the mouths in response to Hollywood’s latest pissing on the comics of their youth, and by “youth,” I mean last Wednesday.
Whatever, Fandom. What. The Fuck. Ever.
As for Trek-related arguments, longtime show listeners should know we’ve been over some of this ground before. “Which is better? Star Wars or Star Trek?” and questions brought about due to discussions and disagreements about Star Trek time travel or the Prime Directive, or which of the movies is the best, blah blah blah. There are the endless discussions about which ship is the best, or if Kirk could beat Picard, which series had the best cast, and so on and so forth.
There are entire message boards devoted to nitpicking the continuity errors and other gaffes to be found in episodes of the original series. Way to be on top of things, dudes! I’m sure the producers will go back and fix those things just as soon as they get a chance, and there’s no way that anyone besides you ever thought to point out these blunders in the nearly fifty years since the show was on the air. Well played!
And for something more timely, we’ve got the recent news that two new writers have been attached to the next Star Trek film. They haven’t put down the first word, but because they’re not professed fanboys who participate in endless circle jerks about topics like the ones I just mentioned, or because they lack any prior Star Trek writing experience, they must not be suited to the job. We’ll pretend that we didn’t just get done with a summer in which fans were having aneurysms over the fact that the current writers were shit and new blood was sadly needed. Well, you got your wish, so how’s about we let them actually write something before we get out the pitchforks? Besides, you know who else didn’t have Star Trek writing experience when he started? GENE FUCKING RODDENBERRY.
If I do have a “favorite” flavor of heated Trek-related argument, I suppose it has to be the ever-reliable “canon” debate. Never before in the history of communication have so many people gone to such great lengths to discuss a topic of such simplicity and find ever more and interesting ways to fuck it up. I’m constantly amazed at the depths to which people will belabor this subject, and how militant they can be. That’s not being a “real fan.” That’s just being a joyless asshole. None of this shit is real, and what there is of it is supposed to be fun, so quit harshing my fucking mellow, dick bags.
Do I participate in fan discussions? Sure, and a few of those can be spirited, from time to time, but the truly “heated” arguments? Hell, no. I avoid them the way the Tampa Bay Buccaneers keep side-stepping the end zone, or the way Dick Cheney dodged the draft. Wading into that fray requires an energy and a commitment I’m simply unwilling to expend for the benefit of some douche nozzle I’d rather be drop-kicking in the taint for having the gall to waste my time with such inane, useless oxygen thievery. A lot of this crap provides me with a never-ending stream of joke fodder, a good chunk makes me roll my eyes, and then there’s that percentage of fans who possess absolutely no filter between their brains and their mouths, let alone anything resembling common sense or common decency. Every time they run their suck holes, they make me wish for one of those giant Australia-size asteroids to drop from the sky and give us all the collective ass-hammering we so richly deserve.
Somebody let me know when that happens, okay?
This question and its answer was read during G&T Show Episode #122 on December 8th, 2013. You can hear Nick read the answers each week by listening live, or check out the replay/download options when the episode is loaded to their website: The Sunday G&T Show. Listeners are also encouraged to send in their own questions, one of which will be sent to me each week for a future episode.
Thanks as always to Nick, Terry and Mike and the audience for including me in the fun.