Ask Dayton #82 on the G and T Show: “Tell them what they’ve won, Nick!”

So, you know it’s Sunday again.

The Bucs are on a bye week, but other, better teams are competing. I’m doing a bit of writing and finding new ways to suck at it. However, there also was another episode of the Sunday G and T Show, with Nick Minecci, Terry Lynn Shull and Mike Medeiros, talkin’ about Star Trek and whatnot.

I’ll find out what they discussed when the replay is posted later today, but we all know that’s not why you’re here….

Dear Dayton,

Your top five game shows and game show hosts, five to one, and why. Thanks
man!

Excelsior!

Aaaaaaaaaaand just when I thought we perhaps had exhausted the list of scintillating topics to kick-start a Sunday morning.

So, game shows, huh? I’ll be honest: My first instinct was to go with bullshit games from TV shows or movies. You know, “Death Race,” “The Running Man,” or even “Heaven, Hell or Purgatory” from the Conan O’Brien show. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to recall fond memories of favorite game shows of days gone by.

My first impulse was to say that I don’t really watch that much in the way of game shows, but when I stopped to think about it, I realized that some of the stuff I like is really just a game show variant. That’s not to say I don’t watch some of the traditional question/answer/money and prizes variety. I guess my two favorites in that category are Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. The former, because I like to see how I stack up against general and not-so general knowledge (I do okay); the latter because I like to see how fast I can solve the puzzles (I would so totally fucking own this game). My wife will tell you that I’m always yelling at the players on the TV for blowing money on buying vowels, rather than keeping that shit in their head. Stop paying to help your competitors, morons!

Anyway….

My top five all time favorite game shows? This proved harder than I thought it’d be:

5 – The Newlywed Game: The game itself isn’t terribly complicated, but the interplay between the newlyweds and host of awesome Bob Eubanks is legendary. Besides, it was this game show that provided what is perhaps the most unexpected answer to a question ever:

Bob Eubanks: Tell me where specifically is the weirdest place that you personally, girls, have ever gotten the urge to “make whoopee?”

Female newlywed contestant: In the ass.

4 – Family Feud: Again, not a terribly deep or complex game, but the back-and-forth between host Richard Dawson and the family members often made for great laughs. It also is still fun to try to figure out all the top answers to those various oddball questions. In the current incarnation, host Steve Harvey has been known to make me laugh out loud with some of his antics, as well.

3 – Whose Line Is It Anyway?: The improvisational sketch comedy show which began as a UK-based radio program before moving to television and eventually making its way over to this side of the pond. Yes, I understand that any of the show’s references to points, winners or losers is at best window dressing, but I’m still counting it. Nyah. I’ve enjoyed the UK version hosted by Clive Anderson as well as the American versions hosted by Drew Carey and (currently) Aisha Tyler. I think I can be pretty fast on the uptake and the delivery, but I feel like a rank amateur watching the performers work on this show. I’m always in awe of the wit and timing necessary for the performers to hang with each other—let alone attempt to outdo one another. For the record, my favorite of the games from any of the incarnations is “Scenes from A Hat.”

2 – The Hollywood Squares: I’m talking about the version hosted by Peter Marshall and featuring for many years the incomparable Paul Lynde in “the center square.” Holy shit, but could he and the other celebrities manning the other squares crack me up. Some of their “fake” answers or comebacks to various questions are legendary in and of themselves, and there are several chain letters floating around the internet showcasing but the merest fraction of them. Example:

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body. What is it?
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it’s certainly not neglected.

Peter Marshall: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

1 – The Amazing Race: The ultimate scavenger hunt show, pitting eleven 2-person teams against each other in a long-assed race around the world, with the winning team receiving one million dollars. Of the current crop of reality competition shows, this is the only I ever could seriously imagine myself doing. The travel aspects alone make it worth considering, along with the unequaled chance to see so many different countries and cultures – admittedly at one bazillion miles an hour as you dash to and fro to find shit. Fuck Big Brother and all those singing, dancing, or cooking shows. I wanna race!

Now as for game show hosts? Surprisingly, I’m not one-for-one with respect to matching up favorite hosts with favorite shows. In ascending order:

5 – Bob Barker: I was never a big fan of The Price Is Right, but I always thought Barker was a fun, engaging host. That, and the stories I hear about all that tail he was getting? That sly dog.

4 – Tom Bergeron: From the current crop of hosts of this, that, and the other. He seems to be ABC’s go-to guy, and he’s a pleasant, jovial host and mediator. My kids also like him on America’s Funniest Videos.

3 – Peter Marshall: He of The Hollywood Squares. To this day, I don’t know how he managed not to totally lose his composure against the onslaught of Paul Lynde and the other mischief makers. Total cool, every time.

2 – Phil Keoghan: The first and (so-far) only host of The Amazing Race. Simply put? I want this dude’s job.

1 – Bob Eubanks: For my money, the game show host all others aspire to be.

Thank you all for playing our game, and we hope you enjoy these lovely parting gifts.

(Whaddaya mean, “What prizes?” How the hell should I know? It ain’t my fucking show.)


This question and its answer was read during G&T Show Episode #113 on October 6th, 2013. You can hear Nick read the answers each week by listening live, or check out the replay/download options when the episode is loaded to their website: The Sunday G&T Show. Listeners are also encouraged to send in their own questions, one of which will be sent to me each week for a future episode.

Thanks as always to Nick, Terry and Mike and the audience for including me in their games.

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (the band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
This entry was posted in ask dayton, friends, g&t show. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Ask Dayton #82 on the G and T Show: “Tell them what they’ve won, Nick!”

  1. archersangel says:

    i loved the UK & first US versions of who’s line. (i’m not really liking the new version) i too like scenes from a hat, but in the UL version they did one & moved on. in the US versions the milk each one too long. but i could be a case of not having many good suggestions.

    i love the amazing race, generally, but the past few seasons have seemed lackluster to me.

    Like

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