Ask Dayton #25 on the G&T Show – “I got your First Contact Day…right here.”

Even though I was out of pocket last Sunday (doing that Starfest thang in Denver), Nick Minecci and Terry Lynn Shull were on the case, with yet another all-new episode of the Sunday G&T Show, their weekly Trek-themed internet radio program and podcast.

You know the drill: Terry and Nick discuss all sorts of Star Trek-related topics, such as Star Trek Online, the big Trek convention coming to Las Vegas in August, the occasional diversion to talk about the still in-development Star Trek movie, some time devoted to the latest Trek novel (or whatever they happen to be reading at the moment), and maybe fielding questions from the live listeners via the site’s chat feature.

Oh, and of course there’s the “Ask Dayton” segment, which continues unabated for reasons surpassing all understanding. This week’s question? Behold, yo:

Dear Dayton: Recently, Trekdom celebrated one of their biggest holidays of the year, First Contact Day. As an author that plays in the Star Trek universe fairly often, what did you do for First Contact Day? Was there a parade? A reenactment of that unforgettable moment when the human race comes face to face with a being from another world (starring your children perhaps), followed by anti-matter Fireworks at sunset?

Please, do tell.

Also, to help get the creative juices going. We saw how Janeway celebrated First Contact Day. How do you think the other Captains we’ve seen in Star Trek (including Jellico) would have celebrated it?

I’m eager to hear your response. Meanwhile, I’ll be at the ER getting treated for third-degree burns.

Live long and prosper.

What did I do for First Contact Day? Well, it’s kind of hard to celebrate something that won’t even happen for fifty years or so, and then only within the confines of a movie, but I’m willing to roll with this for the sake of audience amusement.

How to celebrate such an incredible event from our future history? How best to commemorate this monumental meeting between humanity and intelligent beings from a world beyond our own? How to take a few minutes out of our bustling, chaotic lives so that we might pay tribute to this watershed moment, which will usher in a new era of peace, optimism, prosperity and collaborative spirit as the people of Earth take their first tentative steps into a larger universe? You’re right; we couldn’t just let that pass by unrecognized.

So, we took a page from the early cinematic scrapbook of the one and only Tom Hanks, and we had a party! With chicks! And guns! And fire trucks! And hookers and drugs and booze! All the things that make life worth living! In response to our efforts, the sky parted, and the angels wept. Cats learned to spell, and abandoned their millennia-old feuds with their rival subservient quadrupeds, embracing diversity with such fervor that we lowly humans could not help but follow their worthy example. Man and ape learned to live in peace, pledging mutual understanding and harmony until the end of time; or, at least until something good comes on TV.

Some party, eh?

Now, as for how the different Star Trek captains might commemorate First Contact Day, I see it as one of those things like Gasparilla Day down in Tampa, Florida. Every February, the city launches a festival based around the legend of pirate Jose Gaspar, with a recreation of his pirate ship sailing into Tampa Bay and its crew “taking over” the city. It’s basically Mardis Gras with pirates.

I see First Contact Day celebrations as being in a similar vein, just with fewer gold coins, more beads, and more boobies.

So, the “Vulcan ship” lands in Bozeman, Montana, and every year one of the captains plays the role of Zephram Cochrane. How would they greet Earth’s first visitors from another world?

Archer would show restraint during this initial meaning, rather than knocking the Vulcan on his ass.

Sisko would knock the Vulcan on his ass, because he’s not Archer.

Picard would surrender.

Kirk would step past the first Vulcan, and hit on his female companion.

Janeway would tear them new assholes for not bringing her any of that awesome Vulcan coffee she’s heard so much about.

Oh, and Jellico? He’d just want to know why it took them so long to get here.

So, there you go. Next First Contact Day, do what I always tell other people to do: Grab yourself the first Vulcan (or other non-terrestrial biological entity) you meet, wiggle to the left, wiggle to the right, and do the Ooby Dooby with all of your might…all while living long and prospering in forthright, logical fashion, of course.

You can hear Nick read the answer as a segment on the show each week by listening live, or check out the replay/download options when the episode is loaded to their website: The Sunday G&T Show. Listeners to the show are also encouraged to send in their own questions, one of which will be sent to me each week for a future episode.

As always, many thanks to Nick, Terry, and Mike for making me a part of the fun.


Lay it on me.

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