Ask Dayton #23 on the G&T Show – “Ginger vs. Mary Ann.”

Sunday. Sunday! SUNDAY!

Ahem.

Yep. Sunday, and with it an all-new episode of the Sunday G&T Show, the weekly Trek-themed internet radio program and podcast hosted by Nick Minecci and Terry Lynn Shull!

So, by now you know the deal, right? They talk about all sorts of Star Trek-related topics, be it Star Trek Online, the monster Trek convention coming to Las Vegas in August, some occasional sidebars to talk about the still in-development Star Trek movie, some time devoted to the latest Trek novel (or whatever they happen to be reading at the moment), and interacting with the live listeners via the site’s chat feature.

Oh, and of course there’s the “Ask Dayton” segment. Why? I have no idea. I figured the thing would crap out months ago, but here we are, with an all new query on deck. Here we go:

Dear Dayton: Ginger or Mary Ann? Which do you prefer? Also, which Star Trek women do you think fit into these archetypes, and which do you prefer? Inquiring minds want to know.

So, after last week’s rather interesting question about writer’s block, I guess we’re back to the usual sort of queries for which this segment has become known. That’s probably a good thing, because I don’t know if I could handle two serious or even semi-serious questions in a row.

Ginger or Mary Ann? I have to confess that I’ve never been one to lust after fictional women. Don’t get me wrong; I have a great appreciation for lovely actresses. Olivia Wilde? A rather stunning young woman, for whatever the hell my opinion’s worth. That program chick/whatever character she played in the last Tron flick? Eh, not really my bag. Jennifer Connelly? Yes. Betty Ross from The Hulk? No. Diane Lane? Oh, hell yes. Martha Kent from this year’s Man of Steel? Not so much.

See how this works? Saying you’ve got a thing for someone who doesn’t really exist is kinda sorta weird, if you ask me. Still, I suppose that’s not nearly as odd as those dudes who get all hot and bothered over cartoon chicks. Yo, Pezhead: Jessica Rabbit’s not going to walk out of the TV screen, invite you over to her place, and let you check out the tramp stamp Roger talked her into getting one drunken Saturday night. Oh, and don’t even get me started on those creepy fucks who go gaga over My Little Pony.

However, for the sake of the show’s listeners, I’ll play along just this once. If I had to choose between Ginger and Mary Ann, I’d probably have to go with Mary Ann. Yes, Ginger’s the sexy actress with the slinky gown, crazy curves, and a sultry voice that makes your knees melt and gives you that funny tingly sensation in your naughty place. But, think about the lovely Mary Ann, the farmer’s daughter who somehow afforded a vacation trip to Hawaii. First time away from home, all by herself in the land of bikinis, surfers and coconut suntan oil; wholesome, but maybe not too wholesome, right? Willing to go that extra mile and maybe try some of the really freaky shit Ginger won’t go for? One can only hope.

So, there you go. Mary Ann. Of course, she’s older than my mother, so let’s not dwell on this too long, okay?

Now, as far as how Star Trek women fall into these archetypes? That’s an interesting question.

Jadzia Dax? Ginger. Ezri? Mary Ann.

Beverly Crusher and Deanna Troi? Despite the obvious hair parallels, I’d have to go with Beverly as Mary Ann and Deanna as Ginger. Wait. I just had an odd image of the Gilligan’s Island gang attending a Betazoid wedding. Thurston Howell III as a Betazoid groomsman? There’s something you can’t un-see. Am I right?

T’Pol? Ginger. Hoshi Sato. Mary Ann. Empress Hoshi? She’s pulling Ginger around on a leash.

Kes? Mary Ann. Seven of Nine? Ginger.

Major Kira? Kinda Mary Ann. Intendant Kira? Ginger? Let me think about that for a second.

I’m still thinking.

I’m thinking some more.

Okay, I’m done. Got a smoke?

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Mary Ann. It’s all about Mary Ann.

Wait. Mary Ann and Intendant Kira?

Let me think about that for a second…..


You can hear Nick read the answer as a segment on the show each week by listening live, or check out the replay/download options when the episode is loaded to their website: The Sunday G&T Show. Listeners to the show are also encouraged to send in their own questions, one of which will be sent to me each week for a future episode.

As always, thanks to Nick, Terry, and Mike for continuing to include me in on the fun.

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (the band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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