The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
(314): He’s still not moving. At what point does ‘hungover’ become ‘hospital-time?’
(770): just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
(803): The girl in front of me is still drunk too and is watching the Masters on her laptop. I think I have found my soul mate.
(270): So we successfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
(212): I just applied for an unsubsidized load naked. I love the internet.
(513): there’s a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is “tying up loose ends.”
(614): halfway through eating me out he goes ‘oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday.’