You suck at parking.

Well, maybe not you you, but we both know that somewhere, somebody out there is sucking at parking right now. We’ve all seen such dumbasses in action, from crowding the lines in a parking lot to blocking driveways or doors or even parking in such a way that they take up two or more spaces so that no one will scratch or bump into their precious baby.

Note: Unless you’re driving the goddamned Batmobile (the real one), or a stretch limo with its own hot tub filled with strippers, then such behavior constitutes a Dick Move, and those who do such things deserve the likes of this:

I saw something about this on Facebook earlier today. Wondering if they’d made it up on their own or it was available for us regular folks to buy for our own nefarious purposes, I went a-Googlin’ to see what was what. Lo and behold, what did I find?

You Suck At Parking

Oh. Hell. To the Yes.

One of my pet peeves is people who have no consideration for others when they’re out in public. I’ve been known to call such people on their behavior if it’s particularly egregious or just flat out unbelievable, but I confess to mellowing in that department in recent years. I’m sure having kids and trying to teach them not to be selfish and thoughtless has a lot to do with that. Whenever Michi and/or I take either or both of them with us to a store or restaurant, we always reinforce “the Rules” so far as public behavior is concerned, and Addy even points out to me whenever she sees somebody doing something stupid.

(And yeah, that happens a lot.)

Anyway, people who park like dicks is right up there so far as such antics go, so these cards are wonderful. As I said on Facebook, I should probably get about 100,000 of these. They’d last me about a week.

Who’s with me?

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
This entry was posted in jokes, stupid people. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to You suck at parking.

  1. H.E. ELLIS says:

    I love those! But I’m such an ass that I make a point of parking really close to their driver’s side door so they’re forced to climb in through the passenger side.

  2. daytonward says:

    I’d do that, but I don’t want them dinging up my truck if they get back before I do :)

  3. G says:

    You wouldn’t believe the “intelligent” parking that goes on at my office builiding. Some of the nimrods have actually been ticketed by security for their parking miscues.

    Where I work (the capitol0, you could probably order 200K and they be all gone in less than two days.

  4. daytonward says:

    I wish we’d had security like that where I worked before I became a full-time telecommuter. I used to roll my eyes and think evil thoughts whenever I saw some of the more blatant offenders.

  5. Pingback: Weird search terms that (apparently) bring you to me. | The Fog of Ward.

Lay it on me.

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