“Spock’s Brain: Facebook’d”

This was one of those ideas that sounded better in my head, but as I’m up late, unable to sleep, and there’s nothing good on TV, I give you: Star Trek: The Facebook Voyages.

The guinea pig episode? “Spock’s Brain,” of course:

TEASER
Captain Kirk is on the bridge, watching as an alien ship approaches.

Mr. Spock can’t identify the alien vessel.

Lt. Uhura can’t get anybody to pick up the phone.

Scotty became a fan of the alien ship.

Mr. Spock is detecting a transporter beam.

Kara is beaming onto the Enterprise bridge.

Captain Kirk became a fan of Kara.

Kara just stunned everyone on the Enterprise with her cool bracelet thingee.

Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Scotty, Lt. Uhura, Ensign Chekov and Mr. Sulu are offline.

Kara became a fan of Spock’s Brain.

ACT ONE

Captain Kirk, Scotty, Lt. Uhura, Ensign Chekov, and Mr. Sulu are online.

Captain Kirk wants to know where Mr. Spock is.

Dr. McCoy knows where Spock is.

Captain Kirk and Scotty are going to Sickbay.

Mr. Spock is missing his brain.

Dr. McCoy doesn’t know how long he can keep Mr. Spock alive. Oh, wait, it’s 24 hours.

Captain Kirk is pissed. He’s going after whoever took Spock’s Brain!

Mr. Sulu is hot on the alien ship’s ion trail, heading for the Sigma Draconis system.

Ensign Chekov is getting a chance to show off his stellar cartography knowledge!

Mr. Sulu and Ensign Chekov are acting dumb in order to make Captain Kirk look good.

Captain Kirk decided to beam down to Sigma Draconis VII.


ACT TWO

Scotty and Ensign Chekov joined the group Captain Kirk’s landing party.

Captain Kirk just dissed Scotty by calling him Mr. Spock.

Scotty just detected humanoid life forms.

Morg doesn’t like it when Captain Kirk shoots him, but will tell him about stuff anyway.

Ensign Chekov just detected the Underground City.

Scotty found a secret chamber with tools and stuff.

Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock have joined the group Captain Kirk’s landing party.

Dr. McCoy is pushing Mr. Spock’s buttons.

Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty are going to the Underground City.

Captain Kirk just stunned Luma.

Luma is awake now, and feeling okay. Thanks for asking.

Dr. McCoy commented on Luma’s mind: “Hers in the mind of a child.”

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty are talking to Spock’s Brain, and managing to keep straight faces.

Kara just stunned Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty with her cool bracelet thingee.

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty are offline.

ACT THREE

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty can all sleep sitting up, and they’re wearing swank belts.

Kara doesn’t get what all the fuss is about.

Captain Kirk wants to know where Spock’s Brain is, and he wants to talk to whoever’s in charge.

Kara thinks Captain Kirk is a big fat liar.

Captain Kirk wants to stay friends with Kara, and to be taken to Spock’s Brain.

Kara and Captain Kirk are no longer friends.

Kara sent Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty a searing pain through their whole bodies.

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty are no longer fans of their new belts.

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty are offline. Again.

Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty joined the group Raucous Brawl.

Spock’s Brain is fascinated at its current predicament.

Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy and Scotty are searching for Spock’s Brain.

Kara sent Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and Scotty more searing pain through their whole bodies.

Captain Kirk is pushing Mr. Spock’s buttons.

Mr. Spock pressed the button on Kara’s bracelet, releasing the pain belts.

Kara and Mr. Spock are no longer friends.

Spock’s Brain became a fan of the Ancient Learning Computer.

Kara took the Teacher’s historical knowledge exam and scored 100%!

Kara has a phaser, and she means to use it.

ACT FOUR

Kara can’t believe she fell for Scotty’s fake pain long enough to lose her phaser to Captain Kirk.

Captain Kirk can’t convince Kara to help him return Spock’s Brain to Mr. Spock.

Dr. McCoy took the Teacher’s medical exam and scored 100%!

Dr. McCoy is operating on Mr. Spock.

Kara is depressed that her people will lose Spock’s Brain.

Captain Kirk thinks Kara is hawt.

Dr. McCoy is starting to forget the medical knowledge given to him by the Teacher.

Captain Kirk suggested that Dr. McCoy reconnect Mr. Spock’s vocal chords.

Mr. Spock is awake and talking during his own brain surgery. Yes, he knows how stupid that sounds.

Dr. McCoy has completed restoring Spock’s Brain.

Mr. Spock is back to normal, much to Dr. McCoy’s chagrin.

Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, Scotty, and Ensign Chekov added Sigma Draconis VII to the Places I’ve Been application.

THE END.

(I need to play with this some more, but it’s a start.)

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word pusher. Husband. Dad. Trekkie. Rush fan (the band). Tampa Bay Bucs fan. Observer/derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
This entry was posted in facebook, jokes, trek, weird shit. Bookmark the permalink.

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