And the Skippy McDumbass Award for the Week goes to…

…our own Federal Emergency Management Agency. Come on down!

For those not up to date on current events, our beloved FEMA, who really ought to just change their acronym to FUBAR, struck comedy gold yet again when they staged a fake news conference to disseminate information regarding the California wildfires.

I can only conclude that this was done because the task of finding enough genuine journalists to gather together for an actual press conference proved beyond the agency’s capabilities. I suppose I can sympathize with that predicament. After all, it’s not like the media’s been interested in covering this event or anything, to say nothing of wanting to see how FEMA measured up this time around, after their stellar performance in the aftermath of Katrina. You’d think somebody in that outfit might take that into account when lining out how they planned to interact with the press.

It’s been called “an error in judgment” by various FEMA mouthpieces. No, you fucktards. Rolling through a stop sign and getting side-swiped by a freight truck is an error in judgment. Calling a five yard out pattern on 3rd and 9 is an error in judgment. Green-lighting a sitcom about cavemen from a car insurance commercial is an error in judgment.

This was (yet another) attempt to bullshit the public by feeding us sanitized propaganda. Of course, anyone who didn’t expect something like this to happen is even dumber than the idiots who tried to pull this stunt.

Predictably, Michael Chertoff, Secretary of Homeland Security — whose picture, by the way, now appears in the dictionary next to the word “clueless” — claimed to know nothing of the event until after it had taken place. Whether pissed off that he was out of the loop or that his people were so stupid as to be unable to carry off this costume party, Chertoff made sure to give FEMA employees a little piece of his mind.

I don’t know what he’s got to prove. If Bush didn’t kick his ass to the curb after Katrina, there’s no way Chertoff needs to worry about his job after a few widdle-bitty fires in a state that already hates him and his boss.

Note to FEMA: If ever my state needs assistance in the wake of a natural disaster, just stay the fuck home. Me? I’m calling Arnold.

Note to my LJ friends who live in the affected areas: I’ve been reading your updates, and am grateful that everyone appears to have made it through unscathed. Awesome news, and I hope the same’s true for the rest of your friends, neighbors, relatives, etc.

Lay it on me.

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