Texts from Last Night, Oct 13-19

Be sure to check out TextsFromLastNight.com!Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.

The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.

October 13th:
(781): I was just told by a copy that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed.

October 14th:
(514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I’m in.

October 15th:
(845): mondays should just be called national damage control day

October 16th:
(860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen.

October 17th:
(410: I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

October 18th:
(416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home.

October 19th:
(352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the side of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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Lay it on me.

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