The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
(781): I was just told by a copy that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed.
(514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I’m in.
(845): mondays should just be called national damage control day
(860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen.
(410: I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
(416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home.
(352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the side of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE