Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.
The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
September 1st-2nd:
(202): And I emailed 27 girls on jdate between 3 and 4 am
September 3rd:
(651): She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered ‘oh i cant do this’ and walked out. She looked like death.
(715): We should party with her soon.
September 4th:
(559): my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding.
(305): So I feel really bad about last night…can i give you a blowjob and we call it even?
September 5th:
(318): i just did my hair and make up to walk the dogs…I hate being the single roommate
September 6th:
(540): she looked like the before picture.
September 7th:
(724): i had a nightmare his facebook changed to ‘in a relationship.’ im just not cut out for this casual fucking.
September 8th-9th:
(902): You never truly know yourself until you’ve seen your own orgasm face.
(419): i just got home, put the tv on a stand up comedian…i’ve been waiting for him to be funny for 15 minutes…i went to the guide, turns out i was watching a church called “The King is Coming”
September 10th:
(714): Letd wlk him
(714): Lrtd walek hime
(714): Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
September 11th:
(859): I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don’t want the whales to do but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
September 12th:
(517): Under the tip section on the receipt I just put my phone number. Not only did she shoot me down, but she tried to charge me $5,172,***,*** for a tip.
September 13th:
(862): i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge.
September 14th:
(267): I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
(808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The entry for Sept 12th is awesome. – Tom
You’re gonna try that, aren’t you?
I think the last one is funniest, actually.
The 13th has merit, too.