Texts from Last Night, Aug 25-31.

Be sure to check out TextsFromLastNight.com!Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.

The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.

August 25th-26th:
(214): Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.


(206): I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill.

August 27th:
(803): god i love margarita mondays. except on tuesdays, when i shit a combo of tequila and guacamole.

August 28th:
(805): After he finished he turned around and yelled SPERM BOMB and threw the used condom at me.

August 29th:
(516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That’s a plus, right?

August 30th:
(425): im bored tell me something entertaining.

(206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

August 31st:
(518): Wow…I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: ‘I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine.’

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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Lay it on me.

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