The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
(214): Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
(206): I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill.
(803): god i love margarita mondays. except on tuesdays, when i shit a combo of tequila and guacamole.
(805): After he finished he turned around and yelled SPERM BOMB and threw the used condom at me.
(516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That’s a plus, right?
(425): im bored tell me something entertaining.
(206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
(518): Wow…I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: ‘I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine.’