Texts from Last Night, Aug 11-17.

Be sure to check out TextsFromLastNight.com!Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.

The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.

August 11th/12th:
(980): you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all.


(613): So, right as I’m cumming, I pull out and go “PYEW PYEW” like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

August 13th:
(908): if mike asks, you don’t know anything about lawn gnomes. more to follow.


(817): I watched Chasing Amy after she left to remind myself that shit’s impossible.

August 14th:
(909): flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

August 15th:
(308): I just walked in on my mom and dad… It wasn’t my dad

August 16th:
(916): He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics


(601): Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving

August 17th:
(508): i just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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Lay it on me.

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