Texts from Last Night, July 28-Aug 3.

Be sure to check out TextsFromLastNight.com!Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.

The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.

July 28th/29th:
(803): you wouldnt answer to anything but devil’s advocate all night.


(974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

July 30th:
(201): Just watched the “over the limit under arrest” commercial…I wish I had a car like one of those.


(716): Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?

July 31st:
(856): also, i am the empress of the porch and i am paying people with cookires

August 1st:
(912): You had me at dildo

August 2nd:
(720): Yes. She is fat. Her indian name is Dances with Wingman.


(541): Ok I’m gonna masterbate and go to sleep. Send a picture if you want to help. Good night.

August 3rd:
(646): My mother just said to me, “I know you and your sister are genetically mine, but I don’t get the ‘i-dont drink-bloody-mary’ thing.”

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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Lay it on me.

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