Texts from Last Night, July 21-27.

Be sure to check out TextsFromLastNight.com!Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.

The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.

July 21st/22nd:
(816): We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.


(204): She’s like Mona Lisa when she’s intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she’s marvelous.

July 23rd:
(717): I slept like a baby. A drunk drunk baby.

July 24th:
(614): You gotta start with a bang. For example: dear disney, fuck you. That oughta do it.


(913): And I promise I am not a Nigerian prince wanting to give you money.

July 25th:
(623): either my vag got smaller or his dick got bigger or that condom ruuuules.

July 26th:
(780): I fucking hate babies. People with kids should have their own airlines, called the I should have used a rubber airways. This flight is going to blow monkey tits.

July 27th:
(561): everytime those fat chicks kept walking by all you kept saying last night was LOAD ME UP.

(1-561): i was whale hunting.

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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