Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.
The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
July 7th/8th:
(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
(615): drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to piss…it was my left nut. im soaked.
July 9th:
(816): I just organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I’m going places in life.
(Dayton’s Note: This isn’t me.)
July 10th:
(530): before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake.
July 11th:
(281): I had to remind him that there is no “age exchange rate” between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16.
(704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn’t make it. I’ll be back to the apartment in ten.
July 12th:
(541): at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
July 13th:
(405): why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
