Texts from Last Night, May 19-25.

Be sure to check out TextsFromLastNight.com!Buy the book, by Lauren Leto and Ben Bator.
Follow @tfln on Twitter, and be sure to visit the Texts From Last Night website. That’s where it all begins.

The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.

May 19th/20th:
(978): You literally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.


(919): i made sure i dropped the whole “im a yoga teacher” bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

May 21st:
(305): Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.

May 22nd:
(508): only a Canadian would say, “this is tremendously tremendous” on national television. fuck Canada.

May 23rd:
(215): May have finally hit rock bottom…bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night.


(816): you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat

May 24th:
(732): So I’m pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked “You’re not wearing a bra?”

May 25th:
(843): Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word.
(803): dude its may.
(843): Work with me here, man.

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About Dayton Ward

Freelance word slinger, husband, daddy, Trekkie, Tampa Bay Bucs fan, Rush fan (the band), observer and derider of human behavior. I know where my towel is.
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Lay it on me.

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