The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
(978): You literally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
(919): i made sure i dropped the whole “im a yoga teacher” bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
(305): Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
(508): only a Canadian would say, “this is tremendously tremendous” on national television. fuck Canada.
(215): May have finally hit rock bottom…bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night.
(816): you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
(732): So I’m pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked “You’re not wearing a bra?”
(843): Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word.
(803): dude its may.
(843): Work with me here, man.