The following may contain offensive language. Proceed at your own peril.
(301): and that’s why he’s hiding in the taco suit
(443): So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number-11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
(214): It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
(703): he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner for 2
(508): she definitely has that “I’ll bang you, but then I’ll tell your girlfriend” look to her.
(401): The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge.
(+44): swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl’s lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
(917): Just saw a guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him.
(206): What should our trivia night team be named?
(925): Define Statutory