Friday on Twitter, I made a joke. I know, I know…contain your surprise.
Anyway, every so often I throw out a fake “Breaking News”-type tweet, with something ridiculous and usually pertaining to some issue or news item of the day. Today’s item: “BREAKING: Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan bound for Redemption Island! #Survivor”
This sparked a conversation with a friend on Twitter, who asked me what my “Dream Team” roster for a special edition of the Survivor reality game show might be. I’d never really given any thought to something like that before, but the more I thought about it the more I decided it might be a fun little exercise. So, I quickly compiled a list of names. Several were added by the fact that I’m *tired* of hearing their names, or I chuckled at the thought of certain individuals facing the trials and challenges of the Survivor environment. Others are there because I’m a fan, and I figure they’d make awesome foils, or at least make me laugh as they comment on the proceedings. I present them here in alphabetical order, and I’m not going to offer a lot of info as to why they’re on the list (gotta leave something for the comments, right?):
- Michele Bachmann, U.S. Congresswoman
- Glenn Beck, TV & radio personality/conspiracy nut/Nazi imagery evoker
- Justin Bieber, manufactured pop star
- Uwe Boll, film director/producer
- Whitney Cummings, comedian
- Katie Curic, TV journalist/anchor
- Lady Gaga, singer/popstar/provider of tasty fashion
- Ricky Gervais, comedian/balls of titanium
- Perez Hilton, blogger/self-important Hollywood gossip monger
- Arianna Huffington, columnist/commentator/news editor
- Kim Kardashian, celebrity for reasons surpassing understanding
- Harvey Levin, founder/managing editor of TMZ.com
- Lindsay Lohan, actress/comedy gold
- Richard Marcinko, retired Navy SEAL/counter-terrorism expert
- Chuck Norris, because the law requires his inclusion on any such list
- Sarah Jessica Parker, actress/culpable for Sex & and the City 2
- Joan Rivers, living mummy
- Charlie Sheen, actor/trainwreck
- Kevin Smith, writer/director/podcaster/Silent Bob
- Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker
Now, after doing that, I started having other ideas. Part of me wants to see how this eclectic assemblage plays out, and I’ve even given thought to holding my own version of a fake Survivor “Dream Season” here in the blog, by crafting parody “synopses” running down the events of different episodes as I see them unfolding. I’d have to make some changes to the basic game rules, of course. For example, winners of reward challenges would be allowed to loot and pillage the losers, and tribal councils would probably have to be to the death. There’d probably be a lot more injuries and deaths due to run-ins with local wildlife, too. Come to think of it…looting should be an everyday part of the game. Make each camp have to erect defenses, post guards, be on the watch for ambushes (to say nothing of conducting ambushes themselves), and so on.
Yeah, that’s a bit too weird, isn’t it?
Anyway, there’s my “Dream Team” roster. Feel free to offer up your own lists, suggest substitutions for anyone on my list, or…what will likely be the preferred option, ignore everything I’ve written here and carry on with something far more interesting.